The pump in my forearms, difficulty to hold onto the bar anymore, shortness of breath, veins popping out almost as if wanting to escape from under my skin.
I absolutely loved all these things.
Till every last rep, till every last set, I loved it.
Till every last drop of sweat was squeezed out of my body like a wrangled cloth,
I loved it…
But not today,
Today, I wanted to sit on my couch, eating the banana bread I baked,
Today I wanted to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones,
I could always work out at night, or maybe even tomorrow morning; early morning I thought.
But I knew tomorrow never comes.
Today was one of those days,
Today was a bad day.
Whenever I have one of these days, I always tell myself that it’ll go away, it’s just a day, no big deal. But I always find it hard to find that tomorrow. That single special day, that almost seems to be perpetually running away from me, right there though, right where I can reach out and grab it, but not ever actually being able to. It’s funny almost, loving something so much, but still searching for some reason somewhere in the abyss that is my mind to get back to doing it.
4 Days. 4 days is how long it’s been since I hit the gym. I sleep all day, stay up all night, skip meals telling myself that its compensation for not working out. Starving myself cause of some self-satisfaction of balancing the scales, knowing all along is that all I have to do is to take that step. That ever so loathing step, that will make me feel better, one step to get out the house, and in the gym. So what is it that makes me so resistant to doing the one thing that will make me happy? Why is it that knowing the ending I fear to live the journey?
2 words, are all it takes to change the game, 2 words are all it takes to get you off your ass and do what is needed. The same 2 words that comfort you while you sit there binge watching Khaleesi take over Westeros salivate at Jamie Lannister’s chiseled jawline; knowing that you will hate yourself the next time you look at the pig looking back at you in the mirror.
2 words; that can change your life.
You can either choose to fuck it, sit there and watch as Winter comes and goes, taking your life with it, or fuck it and seize it by its collar commanding it where to go. You can choose to shit there loathing yourself while you stuff your face with chips just because you had a bad day, or go out and do something, anything, doesn’t matter. Because some day, maybe tomorrow, next week, next month or next year, you are going to regret it. You are going to regret what you will become, and trust me when I say this, please, that is going to eat you up from inside just like you’re eating that piece of cake on your plate. It might seem a big deal that I’m whining over not exercising for only 4 days, crying like a baby for something that seems so immaterial that this rant is just pissing you off. But think about it for a second, 4 days for me is the same as a month for you. 4 days for a regular like me, is same as a month for a occasional like you. So now you see why it’s important to me?
I hope you do.
I hope, you realize that at the end of the day, all that matters is you being happy. And if you’re not willing to do something about it, well, then you’re the one to blame.
Because at the end of the day,
All it takes, is 2 words.